The Time Capsule

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The Time Capsule is a Level 600 class directed by The Amazing Joe Wengert. It involves taking the suggestion of any year throughout time and having all the scenes take place within that year.


Cast

Benjamin Apple, Dave Bluvband, Nicole Drespel, Becky Ferreira, Bridget Fitzgerald, Katey Healy-Wurzburg, Lauren Hunter, Tim Intravia, Dru Johnston, Danny Jolles, Miles Klee, David Siegel, Alan Starzinski, Stephanie Streisand, Katherine Toledo, and Andrew Yurman- Glaser.


Director

Only one director ever Joe Wengert

Memorable Class Moments

  • Bridget flipping out as her french character.
  • Becky talks about John Updike and he DIES the next day.
  • Alan Starzinski: "Looks like he's moving that penis Black & Forth."
  • Nicole playing Aaron Burr's little brother, William.
  • Dave Bluvband playing the horse that Catherine the Great died fucking and pleading he didn't know it would kill her.
  • Benjamin Apple calling back a scene about armed combat against polar bears. He rang the doorbell and solemnly prepared to deliver a note from Dru Johnston's dead fiance but began laughing uncontrollably when Dru asked "How did he die?"
  • Dru playing drunk Santa Claus.
  • The rabbit/hare war
  • Danny playing a sarcastic Alexander Hamilton at a press conference, but then just started insulting the press directly.
  • Stephanie impersonating Britney Spears with a baby/goose/alien voice.
  • Tim taking dirty talk to the next level on a slave dating show.
  • Katherine Toledo as Edgar Allan Poe in a tavern.
  • Benjamin's Rent-A-Cream Pie store.
  • Katey and Lauren playing dimwitted southern guards.
  • Alan playing a crazy Mary Todd Lincoln that ended up murdering Abe Lincoln.
  • Katey: "I made scones out of stones."
  • Benjamin: "You can't hold us in your twig prison."
  • Katey: "Don't try to knock down our prison with your fancy words."
  • Katherine Toledo butt-raping hobos as Daniel Boone.
  • Benjamin Apple as an outraged Paul McCartney.
  • Alan Starzinski as any of his Japanese characters.
  • Dru as Gerald Ford, letting anyone who talked about football get away with anything.


Memorable Show Moments

1840 AD (February 3, 2009)

  • Everyone is trying to steal the gold spike that unites the East and West sections of the transcontinental railroad.
  • People are widely misinformed about vampires.

1956 AD (February 3, 2009)

  • Dave Bluvband as Holden Caufield, who against his will becomes the coolest kid in school due to his attitude.
  • Dru as a shoe-obsessed and insensitive Kruschev.
  • Irrational fear of Sputnik.

9 AD (February 10, 2009)

  • Kat starting what became a scene where a bunch of Buffalo sang the song "Hooked on a Feeling."
  • Dave Bluvband as some kind of bird version of Ed McMahon.
  • Dru as awkward, unpopular nine-year-old Jesus.
  • Katey and Nicole give up the nomadic lifestyle for agrarian civilization, only to become virtually immobile.

1928 AD (February 10, 2009)

  • Tim as the only member of the Mile-High Club — Andrew: "You masturbated on the wing?"
  • Andrew driving to different towns, demonstrating a car horn that goes: "FUUUUUUCK YOUUU" to scandalized observers.
  • Alan as a weird-voiced Charlie Chaplin who goes on a killing spree.

3211 AD (February 17, 2009)

  • Everyone has forgotten how to hug, a super-virus has wiped out hypochondriacs, time-pausing VCR people live among us, and super-intelligent lions are discriminated against in the workplace. Also, the first robot president is elected.
  • Danny - "Let's talk about the jew in the room."
  • Alan - "I'm a big cat. I can't be racist!"

1762 AD (February 17, 2009)

  • Dave Bluvband - "Hello, I am Intermission!" - in a play whose title tells you everything that will happen.
  • Nicole as a flag-addicted Betsy Ross.
  • The invention of modern pretension over a croquet match at Harvard.
  • Katey as a hard-drinkin', sayin'-spoutin', friendless Ben Franklin.
  • Taking forever to load guns in a fight.
  • Dave Bluvband as the most adorable little Chinese emperor.

12 AD (February 24, 2009)

  • Stephanie takes Alan hostage & starts negotiating with herself, then Lauren calls out - "She's talking herself down!"
  • Benjamin calls an arena match as the Emperor
  • Alan clubbing seven lion cubs to death, one by one

1985 AD (February 24, 2009)

  • Dru's return drive-by to explain what breakdance fighting is
  • Miles and Dru's impressions of Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd
  • Time-traveling Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox mess with the timelines so much that Time Capsule experts disagree over historical facts
  • Dave Siegel's Alzheimeric Ronald Reagan confuses "Nicaraguan" with a racial epithet.

Trivia

  • David Siegel has made the same walk-on in all the shows, except for the first.
  • Highly offensive racial stereotypes are a staple.
  • This is where Alan Starzinski and Benjamin Apple met and became hateful friends with each other.