Alan Starzinski

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Alan Starzinski (Born November 18, 1987) is an improviser and actor based in New York City. He performs on the improv team Fat Penguin and is 1/2 of Starband. He has studied improv under Eliza Skinner, Betsy Stover, Charlie Sanders, Shannon O'Neill, Zach Woods, Joe Wengert, Anthony King, Armando Diaz, Matt Walsh and Ian Roberts. He is secretly a taco. This is all that is known about Alan Starzinski.

Hometown: Phillipsburg, NJ


  • Alan is the only American under the age of 47 to have contracted Polio. His legs are made of wood.
  • Shits his pants.
  • Alan has no penis.
  • Is a crazy wackadoo spaceman
  • Alan is well known for his remarkable resemblance to TV and film actor, Kirk Cameron.